There’s a temptation that I’ve felt since the first thought of Lucy’s existence. That I would have this wonderful, open-minded kid to teach and mentor through her life… and that I could warn her of all the bad things and shit I’ve hated about life. A deep yearning to process my own trauma in the upbringing of a new soul. But I know it’s the wrong impulse, and something, quite frankly, constructed by the very trauma I wish she may avoid, in order to further its reach. A ghost, a poltergeist in my ego of all the things I want to forget and move passed. That mischievous temptation wants me to teach my daughter about everything I’ve lost in my life: relationships, money, status, self-respect… and most of all, opportunity. It would have me tell her a story of a guy who could have been more, done more, earned more, more, more, more, more than he is, more than he will be. It’s a sad story about loss and regret.
I don’t want to tell that story. I want to tell the story of exploration, of adventure, of limitlessness, the true story of me. I want to tell her a story of how loss can become gain, of bending reality itself.
That’s a big goal. But it starts simple. Share with her what I love, what makes me laugh, what gives me strength. Love her, laugh with her, energize her to be strong and brave.
It’s not always easy. But I can’t imagine doing it any other way now.
You don’t have to reply to this one. But I always love when you do.
What a beautiful way to look at life and the way you will be raising your daughter. I never thought about it that way but many of us in fact carry traumas, unreached goals, and generational obstacles because they've been inherited to us through the behavior of our parents. You've given me so much to think about.